I was a young kid, unsuspecting.  Tall, lanky even, and happy.  Basketball was a favorite of mine, not that I was too good.  And it was in November of 1998 that a bump developed on my left shin, just under the knee.  The original diagnosis was Osgood-Shlatter's disease. 

       Shame on that foolish doctor.

Pain persisted and worsened, in a manner atypical to Osgood Shlatter's.  An x-ray was taken of my shin, to startling effect.  A gaping hole was found in my shin bone.  I underwent three operations, which together seemed to have healed me.

Or so i thought.  Seven years later, in 2007, pain began to gradually return.  I was more hesitant chasing down frisbees.  Less agressive on the rebounds.  And the situtaion worsened.  I had to curtail my yoga practice.  It was clear that something was awry deep within my shin bone.  Things fall apart, the center cannot hold.

The venerable doctor Martin Malawer       came to my rescue.  Top in his field of orthopedic oncology, he diligently reviewed my case history, and came to the firm decision that bold action must be taken.  "Yes," declared, "will we not heed the clarion call?"  Brandishing saw and drill, he threw me flat upon the operating table, jabbed an epidural into my spine, and eagerly undertook his grave task.  He cut a window   into my bone and removed it.  With a drill and a scoop, he excavated all the crap  that was in there.  then he packed the bone with bone cement, threw in some metal pins for good measure, and put the bone window back in place by screwing it into the cement.  In a masterful final touch, he stapled my leg skin back together.  Kapish?

Don't believe this fantastic story?  Then check these 100% genuine X-RAYs that i got off eBay!








See the bone cement?  see the metal pins? see the staples?
     And superficially:



now, i use these babies  to get around.


But i expect soon, yes soon, to be perambulating in the bipedal fashion common to humanoids.


the yonestar will soon prowl again...